Jon and Kate

Inspired by Jon and Kate, Heidi and Spencer, and Megan Fox (brought to my attention originally by Kurt), I am creating a new segment on Brandon's Theory called "WHO CARES?!"

Jon and Kate had over 9 million people watch their last episode and here is what I think...

WHO CARES?!

You know what? I am not even going to rip into the 9 million of you who tuned in to watch. Someone could certainly make the case you all are goobers for tuning in to find out "who cheated on who and why" in America's favorite large family (especially since the Duggers and their 900 children whose name all start with the same letter seem to have fallen out of the spotlight in the past year or so). Instead, I will agree that it may have been interesting to see what all the fuss was about if I were not busy with other things that actually affected my life.

What I WILL rant about is Kate. She pops out a lot of children, exploits them on camera, and then leaves them all behind with her husband while she goes out on publicity tours touting her her show and her books. If she were beautiful or inspirational I might care, but she is mostly just greedy with really bad hair. Can we just talk about that for a second? Does she think she is edgy? She gets between 50 and 100 thousand dollars PER episode, aside from books and appearances, and she cannot afford a serious hair stylist? Who did that to her? In the immortal words of Lilly Moscovitz in the Princess Diaries, upon seeing her best friend's new coiffe, "Oy. Who destroyed you? You look ridiculous. You should sue!"

Dear Kate,

Sue your stylist.

Love,

Brandon

Now we get to the real point. American tuned in because Jon and Kate's marriage was in trouble and there was some hanky-panky going on with a third part. WHO CARES? How many marriages end in divorce? Most of them. Statistically, legally, undeniably MOST of them. Should we be surprised that theirs is not perfect? Even a priest or nun sometimes divorces the church by going back into the secular world to live an average life. Should we be comparing Kate to a nun? I think not - aside from her husband, she has eight little violations ot sacred vows running around on television. Who cares?

And there was some infidelity in a marriage where a billion offspring were...off...sprung...and the wife is controlling, has bad hair, and is never home. Surprising? Do we even blame him? I mean, i guess he could have just divorced her, but my guess is he wanted to but she would not let him because it would destroy her show and take her out of America's awareness forever. Poor Kate. well I hope she is happy now - she kept him around to keep her fame, but now she is famous for being a heartless piece of crap. With really bad hair. Really bad.

Jon and Kate's marriage is rocky and so many people are up in arms about the sanctity of marriage screaming doom, apocalypse, and "what will become of us all?!?!" Give me a break! They were nothing sacred. Now if Heidi and Spencer had marital problems, I might start to worry.

Dear Jon and Kate,

WHO CARES?!

Love,

Brandon